* may my life be like a roll of toilet paper…..long & useful *
O Hai Thar!
No matter who you are, if you judge anyone, you have no excuse. When you judge another person, you condemn yourself, since you, the judge, do the same things.[Romans 2:1]
People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may just never be enough;
Give the world the best you have anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it’s all between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.
Everyday I realize that I would be nothing without music. Music has played a major part in my life, it gives me butterflies making me fly high. It inspires me and sends an adrenaline rush to my body which eventually burns my soul.
With all that said I’ve decided to post a song for each month to signify my mood.
The song that I chose has a soothing effect on me when I feel boxed in and numb. It reflects the positive and negative aspects of my life. Here the writer expresses the concept of duality, we are never just one singular thing, but that we encompass all emotions and attitudes at all points in life. She juxtaposes this with the concept of a hand in pocket (inactive and disengaged) while the other hand remains active and engaged with the world. Regardless of the emotions and actions we make and tell, the world is full of everything good and bad, engaged and disengaged.
I hope you’ll find joy and inspiration from the songs that are posted here.
Couple weeks back I stumbled upon an awe-inspiring newsletter from the DailyOM the passage was so stimulating it left me with no alternative but to subscribe for the exceptional pages.
Seeking inspiration I observed this excerpt, here’s what I read today — as I read it, it was so applicable I actually said “Ouch!”.
Now Is The Time:Bloom Where You Are Planted.
Having a vision for our future that differs from our current circumstances can be inspiring and exciting, but it can also keep us from fully committing to our present placement. We may become aware that this is happening when we notice our thoughts about the future distracting us from our participation in the moment. We may find upon searching our hearts that we are waiting for some future time or situation in order to self-actualize. This would be like a flower planted in North Dakota putting off blooming because it would prefer to do so in Illinois.
There are no guarantees in this life, so when we hold back we do so at the risk of never fully blossoming. This present moment always offers us the ground in which we can take root and open our hearts now. What this means is that we live fully, wherever we are, not hesitating because conditions are not perfect, or we might end up moving, or we haven’t found our life partner. This can be scary, because we might feel that we are giving up our cherished dreams if we do not agree to wait for them. But this notion that we have to hold back our life force now in order to find happiness later doesn’t really make sense. What might really be happening is that we are afraid to embrace this moment, and ourselves, just exactly as we are right now. This constitutes a tendency to hold back from fully loving ourselves, as we are, where we are.
We have a habit of presenting life with a set of conditions—ifs and whens that must be fulfilled before we will say yes to the gift of our lives. Now is the time for each of us to bloom where we are planted, overriding our tendency to hold back. Now is the time to say yes, to be brave and commit fully to ourselves, because until we do no one else will. Now is the time to be vulnerable, unfolding delicately yet fully into the space in which we find ourselves.
All my life, I’ve written these words with no thoughts or intention of sharing them. Not even with my confidants. It wasn’t until going through my journals and notebooks that I realized how ready I am to share these secret thoughts. The experience below was so painful that the only way to express the confusion was to write it down. I have learned from the experience, I suffered from it and I have grown from it and I’m now aware of myself as a woman and as a person who goes through the things that cause life to be experienced in all its crazy, upside-down-sideways-inside- out glory. I am now aware of what I feel and how to deal and where to go from here. Reading these words reminds me that all i’ve gone through and all I’ve seen wasn’t in vain. It all adds up eventually.
I was your pretty little trophy;painted with smiles I displayed no pain.
You are, well, what are you my dad? I flinch at your name.
Memories haunt me the horrors are painted on my skin.
Fine lines define my torment and pain within.
You took my body and tore it in half as you held tightly to my calf.
I was so afraid of your physical strength; your hands were so big and rough.
I wrestled, I fought and I struggled, interestingly that wasn’t enough.
You told me to be quiet and not to tell a soul and eventually expressed that you had everything under control.
Where was my mother to protect me from your sickness, my shivering and such horror?
I was paralyzed but managed to run with tears and shame but the passage was too narrow
The outburst didn’t help as I ran through the mud. No one believed me not even my own blood.
How can I refrain from remembering when it’s all I’ve ever known?
Not only did you molest my body, you molested my soul.
The memories are stuck on repeat.
Wished it was a trick instead I was your treat.
How long before my dignity is reclaimed? Your eyes lied and looked unashamed.
Why did you betray my innocence? Are you running from the truth?
Why? Why? Why? I wonder, can you ever reward me my back my youth?
Should I forgive or should I forget?
When faced with the choice, I choose forgiveness with no regret
Because we both have demons to battle, mistakes, and sins
All I ever have is my worth and my freedom so a new life begins
What does it mean to be here? What does it mean to have friends? What does it mean to get dressed, to have a meal, to work? What does it mean to come home? What is the difference between the living and the dead?
I sometimes wonder if the ‘dead’ are not more present, more comfortable, more there than most of the living.
Today I want to be doing things to be doing them, not to drive to get there, make love to have climaxes, or study to ‘keep abreast.’
I don’t want to do things to sell myself on myself. I don’t want to do nice things for people so that I will be ‘nice.’ I don’t want to work to make money, I want to work to work.
Today I don’t want to live for, I want to live.
This powerful experience below has helped me to tap in to that “still, small space within” leaving me to think that there are more questions than answers to life.
I think we must purposely choose to be connected with all of humanity and project peace to one another, instead of choosing to be individuals—I, Me, Myself—and not being concerned with those around us. Thank you Jill for being an emissary bridge.
